Tips and Techniques to Manage Difficult People

Forget Goal Setting – Just Do It!

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Did you make any New Year resolutions at the start of this year? If you did, then they were probably about what you wanted to achieve in 2010?
If you read any self-help or how to books, then they probably suggested that you need to set goals. I’ve even advocated goal setting myself in the past.
You write down your goals and detail them for family life, friends, finances, career, recreation, health, learning, education and even your spiritual life.There’s loads of information on the internet about how to set goals, books you can buy, planning diaries and even downloadable software.

Now I’m not knocking all that stuff, however I’ve now come to the conclusion that successful people with strong self-belief don’t do goal setting in this way – why?

Because their too busy doing what they need to do, to get what they want to get.

Successful people don’t spend too much time writing down what they want out of life they just get on and do it.

To be successful at whatever it is you want to do, you need to ask yourself – “What do I really want to achieve?” What are my dreams and desires, what do I want to build, or create and what sort of person do I want to be.

You need to clearly identify what it is you want out of life, what do you hunger and thirst for?
If someone held your head under water you’d quickly realise what you wanted – oxygen! You need to feel like this to be successful.

Most of us experience this feeling when we fall in love. We do almost anything to impress and be with the person of our dreams.
This is how people create success, it’s how new countries were discovered, products were invented, Everest was conquered and man walked on the moon.

Now you may not want to achieve something so dramatic, you may want to have a successful plumbing business, or be an excellent accountant, or even run a marathon. Whatever it is, once you identify and focus on it you’ll release the motivation to make it happen.

There is an often-told story of the swimmer, Florence Chadwick. On her first attempt to swim the English Channel she encountered huge waves and chilling temperature. Her trainers were alongside her in a boat. They had greased her body to provide protection from the cold and gave her hot soup from a vacuum flask. She had everything going for her to ensure she was successful.

However a heavy fog set in and as the fog descended, her vision was limited to only a few feet. The water seemed to get colder, the waves higher and she started suffering from cramp in her arms and legs. She eventually gave up her effort and asked her trainers to take her on board the boat. What she didn’t realise was that she was only a short distance from the shore. When the reporters asked her why she’d given up when she was such a short distance form the shore. Her answer was quite simple – “I lost sight of what I wanted to achieve. I’m not sure that I had it firmly in my mind.”

You need to have a clear mental picture of where you want to go. You need to visualise yourself being successful and work towards it, you then have a far better chance of achieving what you want to achieve.

Think about what you’re doing every day and ask yourself – “Is what I’m doing now getting me to where I want to get to?”

If the answer is “No” then do something different. Get out of your comfort zone and change your habits.

The psychologist Abraham Maslow said – “If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being; then I warn you that you will be unhappy for the rest of your life. You will be evading your own capabilities, your own possibilities.”

And case your wondering about Florence Chadwick – she did become the first woman to swim the English Channel on the 8th August 1950. It took her 13 hours 25 minutes and I bet her arms were tired!

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