Tips and Techniques to Manage Difficult People

Spend Time with Your Employees but Don’t Scare Them

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How do you feel if your manager sits down and watches or listens to you work? I know I’d feel a bit uncomfortable.51zNGdLr4YL._SL300_31

I’m always encouraging managers to spend time with individual employees. However I’m aware that some people may feel uncomfortable when you do that, particularly if they’re not used to it.

They might not be used to it with you, or perhaps a previous manager didn’t do it either. It’s often the case that people are uncomfortable because they associate their manager sitting down with them as a prelude to a reprimand.

As Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson say in their book ‘The One Minute Manager’ – Catch people doing something right.Too many managers still think that their job is to – catch people doing something wrong.

They believe that their job is to check up on what their people are doing and “sort things” as required. It’s micro managing.

And employees believe that if a manager comes close to you then they’re checking up. If you’ve got that culture amongst your team members, then you’ve got to change it.

Think of it this way – are you the kind of manager who spends time with your team to find out what they’re doing or to find out how they’re doing. Make sure it’s the latter.

Some of your people may even be a bit scared of you particularly when they first join the team. You may think that you’re much too nice a person; how could anybody be scared of little old you; however I used to think that also.

One day I was discussing a new salesman with John, one of the more experienced guys. ‘Young Patrick’s scared of you,’ he said. ‘Don’t be ridiculous’ was my reply. ‘What have I ever done to make him scared of me; I’m always really nice to him.’  ‘Well he is scared of you and just wants to please you,’ said John.

This was something that really made me think because there was no way I wanted any of my team to be scared of me. Once I was aware of it I took more care in my dealing with Patrick and our working relationship worked out okay.

So always be aware of the impact you’re having on your people; you may think that you’re the nicest most reasonable person in the world, but how do they see it? Sadly, there are some managers who quite like the fact that their people are a bit scared of them and they see it as a positive situation. These are also the managers who spend a lot of time recruiting new people.

I can remember times when I’ve taken over a new team. I’ve had many strange looks and defensive body language when I’ve stopped to have a chat with some of the team.

Some field sales people would get extremely uncomfortable when I told them I’d be spending some time with them visiting customers. However, I realised that I was getting it right when at later date a salesman would ask ‘When are you coming out with me again, Alan, to see some customers?’

There’s always going to be members of your team who are really keen to spend time with you and others who are less so. However, you must spend time with everyone – more with some and less with others.

If you do it right (and follow this blog if you want to know how) then your people will start to get used to it and start to see the benefits to themselves.

And you will see the benefits to your business.

Extract from How To Be a Motivational Manager

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Posted in: Leadership, Management, Motivation

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