Tips and Techniques to Manage Difficult People

Posts Tagged ‘Confidence’

Dump Your Negative Self-Belief

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If you have negative beliefs about yourself, here’s a way to change them.YES...we can!

Your subconscious will always attempt to move away from pain and towards pleasure.

So start to associate massive pain to your negative belief.

Think about how it will hold you back and stop you achieving what you’re trying to achieve. Think about how miserable you’ll feel if you don’t even try.

Old people rarely regret what they’ve done in their life but they do regret what they haven’t done.

So think forward to when you’re 75 or 80 years of age and imagine how you’ll feel if you’ve never tried.

Then start to think of the pleasure you’ll receive in fulfilling your beliefs. Think about how good you’ll feel when you achieve what you set out to do.

If when you’re older you look back and think about things you didn’t achieve, at least you’ll be able to say – ‘I tried, I gave it my best shot and I didn’t sit on the sidelines.’

 

Be Lean and Mean in 2013 – 2 Tips for motivation

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Let me tell you a quick story. When I left school and started looking for a job as an apprentice engineer. I was repeatedlyYES...we can! told, ‘It’s a bad time to find a job.’

It was, and it took time and effort.

When I decided to leave engineering and find a job in sales; I was repeatedly told, ‘It’s a bad time to find a job in sales.’

It was, and it took time and effort.

When I decided to give up my job and start my own business in 1993; I was told by lots of well meaning people, ‘It’s a bad time to start a new business.’

It was, and it took lots of time and effort.

I don’t know about your job or your business, but when has it ever been agood time to find a job, or get promoted, or start a business, or find new customers, or sell more of your product or service?

2013 will be a challenge for many people and for more than a few businesses.

If you want to look back this time next year on a successful 2013, then you need to be lean and mean

Tip number 1

Imagine that in 2013 you are rejected for a bank loan, or you’re turned down for promotion. Perhaps a potential customer rejects a proposal you’ve been working on.

Maybe a publishing company rejects the book that you’ve slaved over for the past couple of years.

If you react with:

  • ‘Oh no, not again!’
  • ‘I’m really fed up with this.’
  • ‘These people are a real pain.’
  • ‘They’re making a big mistake.’
  • ‘What am I going to do now?’

This sort of reaction drains your brain of energy; it adds to your stress levels and destroys your self-motivation.

You need to get lean and mean with your brain.

Engage the thinking part of your brain and tell yourself:

  • ‘I’ll make an appointment today with a better bank!’
  • ‘I’ll show my employer how good I really am or I’ll find a new job!’
  • ‘I’ll phone the next potential customer on my list right now!’
  • ‘The next publishing company will see how good my book really is!’

Pay the fine

There are also many minor situations that happen every day that’ll drain the energy from your brain. Let’s say you receive a parking ticket.

Pay the fine right away; get rid of it, forget it and move on.

Moaning and complaining about it drains your brain and the fine still has to be paid.

Do not, and I repeat, do not say – ‘Oh no, what am I going to do now!?’

Every time you say, ‘Oh no’ your brain has a huge drain of energy.

Talk to yourself

Build up your brain energy by using lots positive self-talk.

Listen to the self-talk that goes on in your head and ask yourself:

‘Is what I’m saying allowing me to be confident, on top and going for it?’

If so – great!

‘Or is it holding me back and stopping me achieve my goals?’

If this is the case – stop it, change the program!

Think about the things you say to yourself and make every statement in the present tense.

Don’t say:

  • ‘I’m going to make a success of this business’
  • ‘I’m going to get organised,’
  • ‘I’m going to lose weight and get fitter’
  • ‘I’m going to be much more confident.’

Say:

  • ‘I am totally in control of my life.’
  • ‘I am totally confident and positive.’
  • ‘I’m achieving my goals.’
  • ‘I have determination and drive.’

What you’re actually doing here is re-programming your subconscious. If you talk to yourself in a positive way, that’s what your subconscious will focus on and you’ll be lean and mean.

Tip number 2

The body and the brain are linked together so when the brain drains of energy so does the body. However, the body also does a lot of running about, up and down off the seat and often takes a bit of a beating.

For it to work well, it needs to be in good condition in the first place. We all know by now that if we eat too much or eat the wrong things, smoke too much or drink too much alcohol, then our body is in danger of breaking down.

If you want to be lean and mean, then you’re going to have to do some exercise. (Do I hear you saying – ‘I need the body energy before I can do the exercise!?’)

You know as well as I, that if you take more exercise, you will have more energy.

Now I know you think you don’t have the time. You may also be the type that doesn’t want to go to the gym and lift heavy things, or leap about in an aerobics class.

However, I am totally convinced that you need to take some exercise that makes you sweat a little.

I’m sorry, but walking the dog or a round of golf doesn’t count, it isn’t the kind of exercise I’m talking about. Golf is great and it’s good for the stress, but it doesn’t make you sweat.

If you’re going to walk then walk fast for a distance, enough to push up the heart rate and increase the breathing.

Have fun

Again, get your internal program right and start to think how you can make your exercise enjoyable.

I see some people at the health club making the whole business a real chore. They get on a bike or a rowing machine and try to kill themselves for twenty minutes. If that’s your thing then fine, but please don’t make it a chore, plug into the sound system and catch up with what’s on TV.

If you’re really not into exercise then please make sure you have other activities outside of your workplace and make them fun. Too many people are going home and slumping in front of the TV – successful people don’t do that.

A laugh and a sweat a day – keeps the stress away!

Make no mistake about it; if you look after the Body and the Brain, you’ll have a lean and mean 2013

If you want to listen to this or download it to your MP3 player, please go here

 

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The Truth About Body Image

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Have you ever considered how much your body image, your personal packaging, contributes to your business and personal success?

The multi million pound cosmetics industry is acutely aware of the value of packaging. You’ll know this if you’ve ever bought anything from those glamorous ladies whose counters are always just inside the front door of Department Stores.

However, from time to time we’re presented with surveys about the creams we rub on our bodies which take years off our age and make our skin as soft as a baby’s bottie. The surveys tell us ‘Buy the cheap stuff or the own label one from the supermarket, because they’re all the same.

But do we? Of course we don’t. Human beings are driven by emotions not logic and never more so when spending their money.

People buy with their eyes, we love packaging. The marketing and merchandising experts have it down to a fine art and know the colours and shapes that we’re most likely to buy. They then design their packaging accordingly and make sure it grabs our attention.

It does exactly what it says on the box

The product in the packaging has to do what it says it’ll do, however if it looks like it can do the business, then we’re more likely to believe it can.

It’s just the same with people. Whether we like it or not, people are likely to make judgments about us by our body image, the way we’re packaged.

They’ll then decide whether they like us, whether they’ll  give us a job or even just believe what we say.

This seems to be so obvious. Yet I’ve seen professional speakers with scuffed shoes, business leaders with outdated suits and politicians wearing clothes that don’t fit them or suit their shape.

Seeing is believing

A few months ago I attended a function where an accountant was invited to speak about his business.

He told the assembled audience how efficient his business was and about their attention to detail. However his tie was undone and his shirt looked like he was breaking it in for a smaller friend. His suit, though probably expensive, wasn’t the right colour for him and merely drew attention to the fact that its wearer liked his food.

All of the things he was saying were totally contradicted by his body image.

Lawyers, accountants, plumbers or software engineers; it doesn’t matter what you do, other people are very liable to make a judgment about your abilities by how you’re packaged.

Your colleagues and your boss will all make decisions about the quality of your work and your promotion prospects by your dress and body image.

It’s not what you say

There’s the famous story about the 1960’s pre-election television debates between John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon. These debates were also heard on radio, which was much more popular at the time. After the debates a poll was taken of how TV and radio audiences had reacted to the two participants.

The radio audience voted for Nixon, however the TV audience voted overwhelmingly for Kennedy. The TV audience liked the look of Kennedy better than Nixon – they liked the packaging.

You never get a second chance

We also tend to make decisions very quickly about people we come into contact with. Psychologists have established that we subconsciously make around eleven decisions about other people within the first six seconds of meeting them.

Personnel managers have admitted in surveys to making a decision about a job applicant within the first thirty seconds of an interview, these decisions being made primarily on how the people looked and carried themselves.

How we look will confirm or contradict what we say. First impressions are also lasting impressions and take a lot of changing.

Impact image

Okay, so we can’t all have the perfect looks or the perfect body, whatever that is. It doesn’t matter what shape you are but it does matter how you package that shape, if you want to make an impact on other people.

How you package yourself can also make a huge difference to your self-confidence. Have you ever noticed how confident and self-assured you feel when you dress in something you feel good in? Particularly when someone genuinely compliments you.

How you dress can have a huge impact on how you carry yourself and project to other people.

The problem is that many of us don’t have a clue as to what really suits us and compliments our shape. This is why so many business people are turning to an image consultant to improve their personal impact.

This may seem like a costly luxury however consider the cost of restricting your career or possibly not winning a  new account.

So what do you do? Well you could ask your nearest and dearest to be honest with you and tell you what they really think about what you wear. The thing is, you really need to listen and take heed of what they say.

Buy some of the fashion magazines and keep up to date on the latest fashion. It can also help to find a good clothes store where the sales assistants will give unbiased advice.

It’s also important to look after the details. Do your spectacles suit your face? Are you in need of a more modern haircut? What does that cheap plastic watch say about you?

Men need to be careful about novelty ties and fancy socks with a business suit. Women need to take care with make-up, colours and perfume.

You may have a lot more to offer than a jar of anti wrinkle cream or a packet of cornflakes; however no one is going to pick you off the shelf if they don’t like your packaging.

If you want to listen to the podcast of this article, please go here

Extract from – How to Make Sales When You Don’t Like Selling 

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